Thursday, 14 April 2016

FG-Con8 and I

In case you missed it, FG-Con8 ran last weekend April 8-10 and fantastic fun was had by all involved to the best of my knowledge. Thanks to all the people who put it together, the GM's for hosting all the games, and the players for coming out. I personally had a blast playing in five games over the weekend. From a friday night game of Top Secret in Savage Worlds, to my first dip into 5E, to Rippers and Primeval Thule again in Savage Worlds to finally a foray into DungeonWorld it was a lot of fun and at times I was laughing like I haven't laughed in years. So I am a little slow getting this one posted, it has been is draft for several days now as I try to get the wording correct.

Although, I found Fantasy Grounds in mid 2014 after its successful Kickstarter campaign and it got green lit on Steam, this past FG-Con was the first I actually participated in. I enjoyed it so much, I am looking forward to the next one, and I am considering running a game or two of my own.

The biggest single factor for me that made this a successful event, was simply that I was able to interact with other people in a meaningful way. Yes, it was through the community teamspeak server, and through the text chat of the game I was involved in at any given time - that in itself is a huge step forward for me.

About a year after I came home from my last deployment I was diagnosed with PTSD and all that it entails - severe depression, anxiety, nightmares, explosive anger and suicidal/homicidal thoughts. Simply put, I do not mix well with people. I am unable to go anywhere there is more than a handful of people present, and I don't go anywhere alone. I literally am unable to even leave my own house alone - because of what will happen. Especially if there is an event that in my perception is stupid, rude or ignorant, and it really doesn't take much to turn me into a raging fire of anger lashing out at people.

I take a pile of medications daily, which is only a band aid solution which all come with their own side effects that in turn continue to feed the cycle in a way. Five years on and the doctors I see are still trying to determine the medications that work the best for me. I tried for two years not to take any medications because I feel that they don't fix anything but hide it and only mask symptoms. Problem is, no treatment will work unless you are first stable. Until I started taking those meds, I was nowhere near being stable. Still really not sure I am close to being stable now.

So here I sit, at times an anti social homicidal maniac, who is unable to work outside the home, or even leave my house alone right now. Not even sure how I am still married actually. My wife has somehow put up with an amazing amount of crap. I can also say without a doubt, it it wasn't for my wife that I wouldn't be here to write this.

That's why FG-Con8 was so successful for me.